Lately, I've been thinking a lot about change. Change of location, change of job, change of career altogether. It's not that I dislike my work (well, not usually), but that I'm usually completely bored with it. I'm making sure that I give myself at least another year here (or at least through the end of this year) before I start making any decisions whether or not to leave this job, but I think it's becoming more and more of a possibility that this is just a stop on my path, and not where I will spend my career.

There are many things I like about my job. I like where I work, my colleagues, the low billable requirement and good hours. I'm not thrilled with my paycheck, because on my current salary there's no way I am not living month-to-month, but it's good enough that I can at least do that (mostly) stress-free. I'm good at what I do. Most of the time, my job is not even that stressful or difficult. Sometimes, it's even interesting.

But generally, I'm bored.

Now, I know most people are bored at work. In fact, most people probably dislike their jobs a whole lot more than I do. And while I'm not unhappy with what I do, I'm not happy either. I don't think I thought through this decision enough before I started law school. I knew I wanted to study the law... I just never thought much past that about whether I'd actually want to practice it.

I like the academic aspects of my job. Sometimes, I really consider going back and getting my LL.M., but then what? I still have to practice after that. I suppose I could teach the law, but I just don't think I have the right credentials. It always seemed strange to me how many law professors never even really practiced. I guess it's that whole, "Those who can't do, teach" thing.

I think I'd like to get into an appellate practice. There are some people out there who love all the detective work that goes along with a trial -- figuring out the facts, dealing with clients and witnesses, formulating a strategy, gathering evidence. That's not my thing. I like the legal issues, the theory. I loved being on moot court. Working on motions to dismiss and for summary judgment are right up my alley; discovery and trial are not. I like engaging with the judge, but not with the witnesses. But, it's nearly impossible to break into the field of appellate law. There's just not a whole lot of opportunities. Most people take their own cases on appeal, or they send them out to one of the top firms. I've been doing some research on some options for the next couple years. I think it's going to include a move back to New York, or possibly Connecticut. (But by god, I do not want to take another bar exam if I move to Connecticut.) There are some non-firm opportunities in New York that look decent, but I have no idea how competitive they are, or if they even accept more seasoned attorneys, since I'll be 4-5 years out at the time.

Then, I consider changing careers altogether. I really, really think I'd like to go to pastry school. It's expensive though, and I don't know if I could justify making such a drastic career change with so much in law school loans still hanging over my head. The good thing is that, because it is so expensive, it will give me several years to really consider whether this is something I want to do. I've actually said, for many years, that once I retire from being an attorney, I want to own a breakfast cafe/bakery. I just sort of imagined it'd be more like when I was 45 or 50, not early 30s. I don't know. I think I'd really enjoy it. I worked in a candy shop(pe) making gift baskets for four years over Christmas break (the busy season) and really loved it... despite working 12 hours a day at times. No, it's not like making a huge difference in the world, but who isn't made more happy by dessert? Besides, I'm not making a huge difference in the world with my job as a lawyer, either, despite all my intentions. So why not make some cupcakes and truffles and spread a little chocolatey love around?

I don't know. I'm so far from being at a point where I can make a real decision about any of these things, it's probably pointless to even think about it now. But I dreamt of frosting cakes last night, and I was happy.

Posted by: Sarah | June 14, 2008 2:06 AM